last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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