So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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