You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
