He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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