you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
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