Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Randomize
