absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
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