i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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