remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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