My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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