my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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