I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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