Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
