So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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