can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
