I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Randomize
