why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
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