Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
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