I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
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