Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
