pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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