I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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