Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Randomize
