oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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