Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
where are you?
Hypothermia
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
