Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
