areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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