toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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