It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
