They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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