What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
