Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
