jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Randomize
