hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Randomize
