Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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