ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Couch. On fire.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
