Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
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