Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
