I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
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