i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
