i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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