We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
