You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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