four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
