i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
