The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
