He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize