I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize
