All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Randomize
