she was so not down for the gang bang
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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