Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
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