hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
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