I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
i think i just lost a toe
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
