my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
