I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I think my moral compass just broke
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