i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
