That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
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