you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.