I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
i only shaved half my leg
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
These 17 Parents Decided to Cut Contact With Their Horrible Kids
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
17 People Reveal The Reasons Behind Their Foot Fetish
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.