so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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