hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
