I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
