I have demons in me.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Mom said you looked used
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
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