so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
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