Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I just googled if crying burns calories
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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