When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Randomize
