you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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