i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
