My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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