You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
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